I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
