How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
