More tranny stories later!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
