You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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