Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
