By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
