bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have aggressive nipples.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
