Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dignity is for republicans.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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