Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I love you.
Bad choice
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
