dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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