Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
