is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
