Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
