I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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