Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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