How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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