My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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