I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
