Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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