the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
