I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
