OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
