At least make sure they are 18
Why
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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