it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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