help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
