Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
