Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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