Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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