I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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