There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
