soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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