considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You made out with two different species that night
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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