I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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