Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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