he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
