I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
