I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
