You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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