Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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