He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
