i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
