Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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