I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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