you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
