I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
