You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
