C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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