office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
