I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
