it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
accomplished twins. life is a go
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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