But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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