Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
