Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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