I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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