I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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